How (NOT) To Fall In Love
by WalkingCatastrophe
Summary: A long time ago, Arthur and Francis stopped believing in love. (Un)fortunately, love still believed in them. FrUk with a side of PruCan and Spamano.
1. Prologue: A Teenage Vow In A Parking Lot

**A/N: Okay, so this is absolutely not what I planned to write this weekend. I should really, reeeeeally be updating Shut Up And Take My Hand, which has been on hiatus... forever, but this idea struck me and I needed to get it out of my mind. I haven't even given the idea time to settle down, which I usually do, so this has come up right off the top of my head, and I apologize if it doesn't even make sense. If it does to you, well then congratulations, you have a new fic on your hands!**

******I just hope you like making fun of overused clichés as much as I do, because guys, this is about to go serious.**

**PROLOGUE: "A teenage vow in a parking lot"**

_It was a clear night, unusually so. One of those nights when the sky revealed its true beauty, when the Universe was shown in all its glory. Or, at least, that's what Arthur thought, looking from the car's window; body glistening with sweat, ragged breathing and heartbeat uneven._

_He felt hot air tickling his neck, and it send shivers down his spine. It was short-lived, though, as he felt arms enveloping his body and a voice, no more than a whisper, in his ear:_

_"Forever?" it asked._

_"Forever" he said_

_He felt butterfly kisses along his neck, to his shoulder, and then all the way up. When they stopped, the voice came back:_

_"Always?" it asked_

_"Always" he said_

_And, in that moment, Arthur Kirkland thought that maybe, maybe, happy endings were real after all._

* * *

"You know", Arthur said, "Happy endings are bullshit"

Alfred, in return, just glared at him

"Dude, you could have said that before we got the fucking tickets!"

"I did tell you" the Brit said, although he knew it was a blatant lie.

They had just gotten out of an overly long line in the only theater that dared to do a marathon of the most clichéd, overrated, hideous romantic dramas ever made. And on Valentine's, of all days.

The room was full of horny teenagers and yet here they were, two grown-up men, one of them even in a committed relationship, waiting for Moulin Rouge to start.

Yes, one could wonder how they had ended up there. The answer, of course, was pretty much disappointing.

"No, you didn't. You called me all like 'hey, they're doing a chick flick marathon!' and I, being the great friend that I am, drove both our asses down to this theater, like who does that anymore? We've both got Netflix, for God's sake!, and I pay for the tickets while you eat popcorn (which I also paid for) and complain about love, life, or whatever the hell is your topic of choice now. So tell me, out of all the things you claim to hate, why should I have known romantic movies were the ones you actually hate?"

Arthur merely shrugged, checking the tickets to know which room they needed to enter.

"I don't hate them, I just said they were bullshit. And don't even get me started on those that are 'based on a true story'. Yeah, sure, so is Batman." he huffed.

"Whatever, man. We're seeing them anyway, we are already here."

They got into the room and found their seats, just about the first commercials started showing.

"And if you think they're bullshit, why are we here again?"

"A mixture of masochism and a secret inner grumpy old man who prefers doing things he hates just to complain about then rather than things he actually likes doing?"

Arthur looked around quickly at the room, surprised by the huge amount of teenagers inside. Just a quick glance at any of them was enough to know who'd dragged who and who was there just for the 0,00001% chance of getting laid.

"You know, I have long since stopped wondering why you do the things you do. And actually, now that I think about it, you kinda look like that grumpy old man from that old book all the TV shows plagiarise every Christmas"

It took him a minute to translate that to English.

"Scrooge" he said.

Alfred looked at him, confused.

"What?"

He rolled his eyes, trying his best not to feel physical pain at that.

"Ebenezer Scrooge. The name of the man. And the 'old book' you're looking for is 'A Christmas Carol' by Charles Dickens"

"Oh excuse me, Mr. English Major."

"Don't apologize to me, apologize to English Literature. No, wait, to World Literature. Scratch that, you should issue a formal apology to World Culture in general."

"Why do I even put up with you?"

"Because I put up with you, obviously."

His friend elbowed him lightly, signaling the film had already started. As the initial scene began, Arthur smirked.

Oh, this was going to be good.

And in the end, it actually was, if Alfred's roaring laughter two hours later was anything to go by.

"Duuuuude, you make complaining about stuff an art" the American said, as they were leaving their seats. And, besides the fact that his friend's snarky comments were hilarious, he also had the lingering feeling that they had managed to ruin the mood for more than one teenager couple… and the knowledge that someone, somewhere, was getting cockblocked just made it a thousand times funnier.

Arthur smiled.

"Yeah, actually that's what I wanted my college degree to be. But there were no professors available"

"I highly doubt there would be someone better than you at that, let alone an entire department. Besides, if there were any they would all possibly be the kind of grumpy old men you refuse to identify with"

"I told you I'm not old! I'm only 24" Arthur complained. It was really hard for Alfred not to remember his age, specially taking into account they were both born on the same year.

"And the fact that you didn't try to deny the grumpy part speaks volumes, buddy"

He had a point there, in fact. Not that Arthur was ever going to tell him that.

"Still, my main focus is not that the films were clichéd and poorly acted… the main fault of them is the fact that they're based on the belief that love exists, which is foolish at best, and bloody stupid at worst"

Alfred just sighed and threw the now empty bottles into the trash can, just before going outside. It was a chilly night, and wind messed both their hairs as they fumbled to put their jackets.

"You know, you weren't always like this. Man, how time flies… One day, your parents tell you you got a basketball summer camp scholarship on the other side of the country, and when you come back the first day of school, you discover that your best friend, the one that sighed, swooned and dreamed with Romeo and Juliet has suddenly become the kind of guy that believes love is just a chemical reaction."

"Actually, you know love is just a mixture between three hormones, based on the biological need to mate so that the species does not go extinct. And you do realize Romeo and Juliet lasted three days and 6 people died, so maybe it is not the best of examples of 'happily ever after' kind of stories in which you claim I used to believe in?"

"But I got my point across, didn't I?"

"Fair point."

They started walking along the nearly deserted street, in search for the parking lot where Alfred's car was.

"Matter is, you need to tell me someday what the hell happened that summer"

"I just… grew up. Discovered that real life was not a fairy tale. And maybe, maybe, I came back to reality face-first." Arthur refused to meet the other's curious gaze.

"Oh come on! Of course life is not a fairy tale, it doesn't take a genius to realize that. But sometimes, love exists. Look at Ivan and me. We're not the perfect couple- hell, he isn't even in the country on Valentine's day with me! And we have our problems, too. But we carry on. And it's pretty strange of you to be skeptical of love when you've always been willing to believe in magic."

This time, he looked at his friend dead in the eye, and whispered:

"Don't even go there."

"I won't. But you need to promise me to believe, a little bit, in fate" Alfred smiled, and Arthur cracked at that.

"Fate is not real." he stated, which only got him a smile in return:

"It is if you believe in it."

He wanted fate, right? He'd give him fate.

"Okay. Okay. So, you're trying to tell me that there is Destiny, fate, the Universe, Cupid, or someone out there that gives even a fraction of a crap about my love life? Well, then I dare them to practice on me the most infamous of all romantic clichés. 'Love is just around the corner', they say. Great, so just as we turn around that corner, the one just before the parking lot, I'll suddenly and oh-so-conveniently crash against some random stranger who just happens to be the love of my life. Come on, guys, I dare you!"

And because he was feeling extra poetic that night, he looked at the sky, unusually clear, and shouted:

"Make me believe in love! May my Prince Charming be on that corner!"

And, laughing at his own joke, he turned said corner, only to bump against someone he really, really hoped was Alfred pulling a prank on him. They both fell to the ground, much to his friend's surprise, whose voice sounded a bit too far to be coming from the body on the floor with him.

In hindsight, and for all the genre savvy he claimed he was, he really should have seen that one coming.

_To be continued..._

**A/N: So yeah, once again, sorry for the OOC, the nonsense and all the faults this chapter might have. And I've actually learnt from my mistakes this time, and I'm typing ahead of what I'm uploading so this doesn't become another Shut Up And... kind of thing that I get stressed about updating but never do. If you wonder what I am up to between not-updating my stories, feel free to check my Tumblr (link on my profile page)**

**And even though this story will be mainly FrUk, my OTP is my OTP, and ooops, my fingers slipped. So PruCan will make (more than) a guest appearence now and then. **

**Anyway, reviews make me go all 'squeee' on public places. My friends are starting to suspect. Give them reasons to :))**


	2. Prologue II: Till Tonight Do Us Part

**A/N: First of all, I'm sorry. This was meant to be uploaded last week, but the only day I got the chance to do it I was so sleepy I screwed the format up and I had to start it all over. So, in short, it has been a busy week. I've had to finish a project due... tomorrow, and it is still not over. It also involved a lot of writing, so I didn't really feel infatuated to write a bit more. Hopefully tomorrow it will be over, and I'll have time to write again! Yayyy for writing things I actually enjoy rather than those I'm going to be marked on!**

**Anyway, enough rambling. Here I go:**

**PROLOGUE II: "Till tonight do us part"**

_Francis was mesmerized at the sight._

_Not the clear sky, not the stars, not the moon. No, he wasn't looking at any of that. He didn't need to. He saw them all reflected on those eyes, those green orbs that seemed to hold the infinity of the Universe in their finite space._

_"You are beautiful", he said_

_"You'll probably say that to everybody" those eyes looked at him; and all of sudden, he found himself unable to answer. But he quickly composed himself._

_"If it makes you feel better, this is the first time."_

* * *

"If it makes you feel better, this is not the first time" Francis said, as he parked the car, "This is not the first time I dragged a friend to a bar on Valentine's Day"

"Actually, for a man who claims to have an incredibly hectic and busy love life, I find your lack of dates on Valentine's Day a bit disturbing." Gilbert answered with a smirk, as he unfastened the seat belt.

Francis snorted at that.

"You know I don't do dates on this day. And yeah, sure, because 'hey let's go get wasted at that bar that looks suspiciously like the one we got kicked out of last week' is exactly the kind of romantic night I'd plan for a date."

His friend licked his lips, trying to look lascivious and failing miserably.

"Well, it worked for me, sugar."

"You've always been a romantic", he smiled. "I don't even know how poor Matthew puts up with you."

And it had been long enough that Francis knew the only two outcomes regarding that topic: either he would get really sappy about his boyfriend, or start a really dirty comment that Francis never let himself hear the end of.

"Oh, you know, I try to compensate him with my long, hard…"

"Enough. Why do I even bother hoping it would be the sappy one?"

"...glares at people that he hates, so that he feels more secure about himself. That's the worst part about you never letting me finish my sentences, you always think I'm a pervert."

"Oh thank God." the French sighed.

And it was a foolish mistake to let his guard down; because hey! It's Gilbert we're talking about.

"...Aaaaand the sex's mind-blowing, too."

Francis chose not to dignify that with an answer, and got out of the car instead.

"I think I find Antonio a better role-model for my relationships. Mostly because he's not going out with my cousin, and that makes the whole 'talking about feelings' an awful lot less awkward. Not that it has ever stopped you telling me every detail of your sex life."

Gilbert, as usual, chose to focus on the irrelevant part.

"You say 'relationships' as if you had any. Hookups? I've lost count. But real relationships, as in with feelings and stuff? When was the last one? When I met you in college you were already the Casanova you're today."

"I've had some… issues."

"Yeah, sure. Listen, man. Look who you're talking with. Do I look like the kind of guy who could ever settle down? I'll answer that for you: no. Or, at least, that's what I thought before I met him. Then, when that wonderful, marvellous angel fell from the sky… When he started talking to me, when I got to spend time with him and looked like he was the fire that melted the ice barriers I'd built around my heart…"

"I never thought I'd say this, but I prefer the sexual innuendos."

"Tough luck, kiddo. Because it's fucking Valentine's Day, and as you can see, my wonderful boyfriend is on the other side of the planet. So, as I pass the time for me to be acceptable to call him, time-zones and all, you're stuck for this lovesick fool of a best friend, who won't shut up about poetry, and eternal love, and… yeah, actually, that's about it."

"I hate you." he said, but there was no actual fire behind those words.

"If I had a penny for everytime someone's told me that..."

"You'd be rich, and I'd still hate you. Now get your ass moving and go to the pub with me so I can drown my sorrows and my hatred for Valentine's day."

Gilbert did as he was told, and as they started walking along the deserted street, he asked:

"No, but really, what's all the fuss about?"

His friend didn't even bother to meet his gaze, just shrugged and said:

"I hate this day, that's all."

"Why?"

"Issues, I told you."

"No, you didn't tell me. That's, like, the whole point of me asking."

They got inside, and just after they had ordered their drinks, Francis began:

"The summer before our last year of High School. I met a guy, shit happened."

"Duh. Shit happens. What a fucking surprise. Now get over it."

"I did."

"No, you didn't. Bro, I practically founded the Gilbert School Of Pretending You Don't Have Feelings So You Don't Get Hurt. One of the most popular courses being Pretending You Got Over Stuff You Didn't Actually Get Over With. I can recognize these things when I see them. And all you one-night-stands are just that. You're getting old for this stuff"

"You were doing this exact same stuff two months ago. Hello Kettle, I'm Pot."

"Yeah, but I didn't have Matthew back then."

It had been just recently that Gilbert had settled down, making Francis the only single of their trio. And if the French found it at least a bit depressing, he didn't show it.

"Just because you found your special someone doesn't mean we all will."

Gilbert just stared at him.

He has been improving his bitch-face a lot… the whole settling-down thing has done wonders.

"Oh come on! Give fate a little chance!"

At that moment, their drinks arrived, which was a fortunate distraction taking into account how much Francis wanted to punch his friend right then.

"Fate my ass. You found love? How nice. I'm happy for you. But some of us have long since stopped believing our knight in a shining armor will be waiting for us, or will came to the rescue to whatever kind of crap we've gotten ourselves into. We'll grow up, grow old, and then die. The last stage, invariably, happens alone. So, along the way? Enjoy things while they last. Don't waste time hoping for something that will never happen. Sex's great, it's real, and it's within reach. So why bother.", he finished with a noncommittal gesture.

"This is the most poetic, and at the same time most depressing thing I've ever heard anyone say while drunk." Gilbert stated, after a few seconds of just staring at him.

They stayed silent for a little while, but then Gilbert sighed and said:

"The guy with issues. I don't know what all those hookups find on you."

"Well, they're mostly attracted by my amazingly impressive…"

"No. Just no. That's my game."

"Charisma. How does it feel, Gil?"

"That's my line." he glared at him, pouting.

And here I was, thinking you had grown up. Guess not even Matt can change your not-so-inner child...

"Oh, behave or I'll tell dear Matthieu you've been pouting all night. C'mon, let's go, this doesn't even feel right anymore."

They got out to the chilly night, and Francis felt a bit more sober.

Still, not completely, or else he would had shut himself up before words came out of his throat.

"Sometimes I still wish to believe in Destiny. To believe that someone, somewhere, is leading my steps, and that all the decisions I make, even the mistakes, are slowly but securely drawing me towards that special person. And that, someday, I'll just turn around the corner and there will he be, waiting for me with a smile and whispering 'it took you long enough'"

Gilbert remained silent for a while, not knowing what to answer to that.

"Look, there's a corner there. Wouldn't it be awfully convenient? And guess what? I'm going to spice up things a bit. 10 bucks say… scratch that, go hard or go home, if somehow the laws of probability and common sense all go to hell and I somehow end up meeting my soulmate tonight, I'll dress up like Pumbaa for a week straight and the only way I'll communicate with other human beings will be by singing any song from The Lion King. Now that's tempting fate. It makes the whole thing all too convenient to miss, doesn't it? But we both know, since real life is not a fucking crappy teenager romance novel, that stuff like that doesn't happen. That the corner will be just as empty as the rest of the street."

"Yeah, I know."

But what they didn't know, however, is that sometimes stuff like that happens, that the corners aren't just as empty as the rest of the street.

Less due to the statistic probabilities of that happening, and more due to the fact that fate is a bitch and doesn't like being tempted. It was kind of a 'you don't believe in me? I'll make you believe, via the most clichéd and horrendous way, so you suffer two times as much'.

In short, it was the cosmic equivalent of a big 'Fuck You'. And one of the best indicators that tell you're royally screwed is the fuckup happening on a cosmic level.

Just as he was turning the corner, he bumped into someone, making them both fly straight downwards to the ground.

"Wait, I think we fell down" he said, seconds later.

"You've just realized? TOOK YOU LONG ENOUGH, MORON!"

Definitely, Francis could've chosen better entities to mess up with.

**A/N: Hey, you! Yes, the one at the other side of the screen! Are you tired of the same, old-fashioned clichés? Feel like you could up some of your own? Are you reading this with an infomercial voice? Well then, the review box is for you! Suggestions are much appreciated.**


	3. Chapter 1: Choking On Your Alibis

**A/N: Here I am again! Hope you guys haven't lost interest in the story, with my less-than-frequent updates and all that! (I'm sorry, though, as much as I want to have the time to write I find myself either working for class or wasting time miserably on Tumblr. And I'm determined to finish this story! And Shut Up And Take My Hand as well! Eventually...**

**Well, enjoy!**

**CHAPTER ONE: "Choking on your alibis"**

_He had met him on one of his frequent trips to the library._

_He had just gotten out to get a few books, and there he was, sitting on the stairs and smoking a cigarette. He looked like he had just been taken out of the cover of one of Arthur's favorite discs. The only difference being that this boy moved, and it seemed like he was talking to someone._

_It took him a whole minute to realize the boy was actually talking to him._

"_...my name's Francis" he said, and Arthur would never have thought a name could sound so beautiful._

_His, on the other hand, was so common it sounded awful. So, with quick reflexes, and trying hard not to make an ass of himself, he quickly replied:_

"_Luigi!"_

_The stranger smiled._

"_Well hello Luigi, nice to meet you. And I think your books fell down."_

* * *

"Wait, I think we fell down" he heard a voice say, seconds after the loud 'thump'.

"You've just realized? TOOK YOU LONG ENOUGH, MORON!"

Arthur tried his best to stand up again, but half the stranger's body was still over his. Now there were some good ways to lose all your dignity in a matter of seconds, and this was, in his opinion, at least on the top 10.

Okay, it had been raining and the floor was soaked. And muddy. Top 5.

"Would you do me a favour and move so I can stand up and continue with my life again?" he asked, looking at the sky.

"Wow… a bit grumpy, aren't we?" he heard the stranger say, and a shriek of laughter that sounded suspiciously life Alfred's.

"Listen, as much as I'd love to stay here all day and chatter, I can think of a few more comfortable places than the ground in the middle of the bloody street."

He heard the stranger laugh.

"Fair point. Here, I'll help you."

The stranger stood up first, then he saw a hand take his, and soon he was on two legs again.

"Well, glad to know the Law of Gravity is still working for you, Francis." he heard a voice said.

_Francis? Why does that name ring a…?_

_No. Oh no no no no._

_Please. Pleaseplease don't let him…_

For the first time since the whole incident, he looked at the stranger, and for a few seconds he felt his heart stop.

He was tall and slim, with just the faintest hint of muscle. His eyes were dark blue, _almost like those of..._although they now seemed a bit unfocused, probably because of the fall. And, Arthur noted, he had a really pretty smile. All in all, he was pretty attractive, which was one of the things he was not proud of thinking about people he had just met.

But, the most important part was his hair.

His hair, thank God and all that's Holy, was long and blond, gathered on a ponytail.

He was blond. As blond as someone could be.

Blond.

Oh, he could have kissed the stranger right now.

"As you have heard, Francis is the name. And I apologize, both for the fall and for my friend's stupid comment."

"Arthur", he replied.

He saw _Francis?_ visibly relax at that, which was kind of weird, but the relief of him not being who he had thought he could be was simply too overwhelming to care.

"Weeell…" he heard him say, "The fall has been fun and all that, but we were on our way to our car, as I suppose you were, so there is no point in staying here longer."

Arthur just stood there awkwardly, before finally answering:

"I guess. Well, goodbye!"

Francis smirked.

"See you!"

_I really, really, reeeeeeeally hope not._

And they started walking away, the Brit waiting patiently until he was sure the others could not hear him. Then, he turned to his friend, who was still smirking (the bastard) and said:

"See? It was not magical. It was not romantic. It was simply a coincidence. Nothing happened. Fate does not exist."

* * *

"Nothing happened. Fate does not exist." Arthur said, a week later, as his friend entered the cafeteria and sat beside him.

"Bro, it's the fifteenth time you've told me that."

Okay. So maybe, maaaaaaaybe, he had been thinking about the accident a bit more than he had originally intended to. He cooould have thought about it a few times, and he miiight have voiced his thoughts two or three times.

And by 'two or three times', I mean 'twice a day for a week straight'.

But it was not because of the fact that the stranger had been pretty attractive, nor was it due to the fact that it had been the most exciting thing happening to him that month. And it _certainly_ had nothing to do with him trying to reassure himself, because really, he didn't need any kind of reassuring.

He knew pretty well that love and fate didn't exist, mind you.

He was simply marvelling at his own intellect, and how right he had been the whole time. Because he usually was right at things, but having the chance to rub it in his friend's face made it ten times more precious. It was always nice to remind people he had been right, just in case they forgot.

"That's because it's true. Just because I dared the Universe to make me meet the love of my life on a corner, and because I met somebody on that corner, does not mean that said person is the love of my life, and much less that fate exists. Correlation does not imply causation."

His friend just stared at him, like he had done the last fourteen times, in complete silence for a few seconds, and then sighed and looked away, saying:

"Did you really need all those fancy words just to tell me you were right and everybody else was wrong?"

"...no. But it sounded more mature that way."

The american smiled.

They drank their coffee in silence, Alfred quickly glancing at the clock from time to time.

They had fallen into some kind of routine, the American being on his 30 minute lunch break from work and Arthur taking his own break from the job-hunting. Honestly? There weren't many people that needed an English major, and he had long since stopped looking for something on his field. He had resigned himself to whatever came his way, given it had a decent salary and didn't involve costumes of any kind- that last measure was adopted after some… not-so-good experience in college, involving minimum wage and a dog costume that if he never saw it again in his whole life, it would still be too soon.

Which reminded him…

"I've got an interview today." he mentioned, casually. His friend didn't raise his eyes from the phone screen, just quirking an eyebrow and making a vague '_hmmm' _ kind of sound that Arthur took as encouraging but actually, with enough imagination, could mean anything.

"Yeah, on the other side of the city though. But it's just office work and, well, seems dull but could be worse."

"D'you have to deal with customers?" Alfred asked, a smirk quickly forming in his face, and the roll of Arthur's eyes was enough of an answer.

"Customer service." he said, and those two words spoke volumes.

Their chatter was interrupted, though, by Alfred's obnoxious ringtone.

"It's Matt." he told Arthur, as if to excuse himself, when he answered the phone.

"Who?" he asked.

"My bro. My real bro. Not a bro that I call bro because it's shorter than their actual name."

_Ahhh… yeah. I think I know him._

Meanwhile, he could hear his friend was getting into a pretty heated argument over the phone:

"No, I'm not organizing a… noooo, that's stupid. Why would you…? Can't you do it in your house instead of mine? Are you sure? Hmm… yeah, now that I think about it, you've been living there with that horny bastard you like to call your boyfriend, and I'd rather not touch any flat surface you guys could've gotten at it in. Which kinda covers 80%... WHAT? Duuude, that's too much info. Waaaaay too much information. Like, I'll never look at you the same again. 'Kay, my house then. You owe me. This time for real. Sure. I hate you. Awww… you hate me too, how sweet! 'Kay, bye."

When he hung up, he saw Arthur looking at him expectantly.

"Well, there are good news and bad news."

"I'd rather have the bad news first."

"My brother decided it would be fun having a costume party for some reason I didn't pay attention to because, duh, _costume party, _not like I actually _need_ a reason for it, and somehow I've ended agreeing to do it in my place, which would be a bitch to clean up. So, long story short, bad news are that I'm dragging you along to the party and you're helping me clean up afterwards."

"I hate you. And what about the good news?"

"Costume party!"

Arthur rolled his eyes at that. Not like they were good news to begin with, but at least they were better than the actual bad news. Now that he thought about it, every time Alfred said there were 'good news and bad news' he actually meant 'bad news and worse news'. And after a whole lifetime of knowing his friend, he didn't really know what he had been expecting.

"Anyway. I suppose showing up in a costume is not optional, is it?"

"Nuh-uh. I'm dying to see you in your princess costume, sweetie."

"Hey, that happened one time. ONE TIME. And I was five years old."

"Yeah, and I told you you'd never hear the end of it. So far, I've kept my promise. Now this raises a new problem, because what would I wear for the party? Man, I've got some internet research to do now."

He took his phone out, but as soon as he saw the time he cursed softly and stood up.

"Gotta go. Break's over."

"Yeah, sure! Drop the bomb and leave me alone here, planning the costume! Great lot of help you are!" he yelled, no actual venom in his words.

Still, there were times in which he could swear his friends did these kind of things just to piss him off.

* * *

A week (and much more research than he was willing to admit) later, Arthur arrived at his friend's door, and rang the doorbell.

So, here he was, in his full pirate costume, absolutely _not_ looking forward to hours and hours of pretending to be amused by people he barely knew, including Alfred's brother, his mysterious boyfriend and company. And, to top it off, for some reason he had agreed to help with the clean-up, which meant he had to stay the whole night and part of the next day.

Man, he really hoped there would be booze.

Just as a complete stranger in a nurse outfit opened the door for him, he was met with a room full of costumes with a varying degree of nudity, worn by people with a varying degree of drunkenness (so there was alcohol after all, nice) and music blasting through the loudspeakers he didn't even know his friend possessed.

It promised to be a hell of a night.

And, he realized, 'hell' didn't even begin to cover it when he saw, in the middle of the room, the one person he had never expected to ever see again. The one he thought he had finally got rid of.

The person he had been bragging all week to have avoided.

_Francis._

_But… how…?_

But he didn't have much time to dwell on it, because in that same moment, when he locked eyes with the blonde, something came flying and hit him on the head, effectively making him lose his balance.

When he finally recovered, he saw Francis coming towards him, because out of sheer bad luck, he had managed to fall while the other was still looking at him, managing to catch his attention.

And, when he saw what the mysterious object was, he fucking lost it.

An arrow. A bloody heart-shaped plastic arrow. With little hearts drawn all across it.

This was just rubbing it in.

So, he thought, maybe someone had gotten into the party dressed as Cupid, but he was sure said someone was not getting out of it.

**A/N: So, umm... yeah, I've been watching too many episodes of The Office lately. Expect many more office shenanigans from now on. And the 'Luigi' thing comes from that Tumblr post where every time someone panics they have to say Luigi. Arthur geting all stressed because of Francis' awesomeness is a thing from now on.**

**So, I've been thinking about something lately, and it is that I will finish both this story and SUATMH, but obviously one will update sooner than the other. This one being newer, and having shorter chapters and all that... (and honestly, I'm not nearly as happy with the quality of this story as I am with the other one) I figured I'd ask you guys which one you want updated sooner. I feel like I don't have as much "confidence" writing FrUk as I do with PruCan, but on the other hand, I like the plot of this one... Well, I'm not sure. Let me know what you prefer,**

**As usual, review if you liked it! :))**


	4. Chapter 2: The Universe is Never So Lazy

**A/N: Wow, I'm sorry again for not updating last week. Anyway, I'm working on a PruCan one-shot as well as these two fics, because an idea randomly occurred to me and I couldn't just leave it there. So expect it to be posted here as well. **

**And yeah, from this chapter on is where plot really starts to thicken hahahah. Enjoy!**

**CHAPTER TWO: The Universe is Never So Lazy**

_"I'm sorry" he said, picking the books from the floor, hoping the other wouldn't notice the way his cheeks had turned bright red.. "That has been pretty embarrassing"_

_But Francis, at that, just flashed that wonderful smile that made his knees go weak._

_"I thought it was pretty cute, actually. And I got to know your book taste, and I must say, I'm impressed. I'd love to discuss books with you."_

_And Arthur fell in love instantly._

* * *

So, out of all the crappy first impressions Arthur had made in his entire life, little would be able to top "Fallin-because-of-a-heart-shaped-plastic-arrow" in the embarrassing pole. And he would actually feel embarrassed, if not for two reasons:

a) It was not his first impression on the guy

b) The first one had been even more embarrassing.

"Are you okay?" Francis asked, "That thing hit you in the head pretty hard."

And he made a move to grab Arthur's wrist, but the Brit visibly flinched.

"Get out of here!" he whispered, because no matter how angry he was, he wasn't about to make a scene.

"Hey. Why should I? I am invited to this party just as much as you are. In fact, I believe I've been here far longer than you."

"Invited my ass. You've been following me!"

"Yeah, sure, because I honestly have nothing better to do than to stalk someone I bumped into two weeks ago, just so I can… what? Watch him fall to the ground one more time? No offence, cher, but there are way better YouTube videos for that."

Now that he put it that way, it didn't even make sense to Arthur. Not that he was going to admit that out loud.

It was a coincidence. Just a coincidence. Coincidences existed.

It-it wasn't like it was some kind of fate, or anything.

"Listen. I don't know who you are, or why you are here, and I honestly couldn't care less, but I would be a lot happier if you could stop running into me, because you are starting to make me believe the Universe hates me, and I've been enjoying telling my friend 'I told you so' way too much to recognize my defeat now."

The French sighed, just the bare hints of a smile on his lips.

"You tell me. I was just about to prove a point by not meeting anyone on that corner when suddenly… I meet you. You made me look like a complete idiot. Good thing it was just a coincidence, and I didn't see you ever aga… oh shit." and the look of dawning comprehension, followed by utter annoyance, matched exactly that of Arthur's just minutes ago.

"Yeah. That's the word. And let me guess, the point had something to do with coincidences, fate, the Universe or something like that?" he asked, smirking.

The other seemed genuinely surprised at that.

"Yeah, how did you now?"

He rolled his eyes, not bothering to hide the smile that gave it all away.

"Same here."

And they both burst out laughing.

"But don't tell them that, otherwise they'd think it's another proof we're made for each other or something like that" the French commented.

"'So how did you meet the love of your life?' 'Well, you see, I was insulting the Universe when I bumped into him and we both fell to the ground'. Bet it'd make a great movie."

"I just made you lose your balance. Will you marry me?" Francis asked, barely containing his laughter.

Okay, so the guy was funny. And attractive, too. And shared his views on life, love, and how big of a bullshit it all was. Honestly, had he met him in any other circumstances, he would be all over him now. But, things being as they were, it would mean to sacrifice his 'I told you it was just a coincidence and we would never meet each other ever again' chant he had been giving everybody for the last two weeks.

Stupid Alfred, with his stupid talks about love.

Cockblockers.

Besides, losing his status of "argument winner" wasn't worth a one-night-stand. N-not that he wanted anything else with the guy, really.

"Okay, so here's the thing. You're funny and all, but we weren't supposed to meet." he began.

"No offense, but I don't want to risk my moral superiority of having been right just for a conversation with you here." the French added.

"None taken, because my thoughts exactly. So, what about we part ways, and never ever ever ever see each other again?"

Francis nodded, and smiled.

"Sounds fine to me. And I hope you find someone else to complain about love with, one that doesn't happen to be your decisive proof of it not existing."

"Same. It's a pity, you sounded like a nice guy."

"O...kay. So maybe it's time to go." Francis stated, but made no attempt to move.

"Yeah, that would be the right thing to do." Arthur agreed, but didn't move an inch.

"It would."

And they just stood there, awkwardly, looking at each other. After a bit of reluctance, though, they parted ways.

And that was it. Really.

Yeah, it could be said that after that, Arthur had a great time and enjoyed himself. That he drank a bit too much, danced, talked and laughed. That he stayed the night at his friend's sofa (a bad decision, especially taking into account Alfred's boyfriend had just come back from his two-week business trip and the main bedroom and the living room shared the same wall), that the morning after he refused to meet any of them in the eye, but helped out cleaning anyway, and then took the subway to his first day at his new job, on the other side of the city and for which he had had to rent a new flat, with a fresh start, any traces of the conversation long since forgotten.

But that, of course, would be lying.

After all, reality is just an awesome story someone has decided to ruin with the truth.

So, really, what happened was that Arthur spent the rest of the night trying to avoid the other blonde. And when his American friend yelled 'hello!' at him while he was looking the other way, he jumped so high he nearly spilled his drink.

And several other people's in the process.

"God, you scared me!" he whispered.

"Why? And I haven't seen you in the whole night, dude, were you hiding?"

Yes, I was, thank you for asking.

"No, of course I wasn't! Wh-what gave you that idea?" he asked, and tried to laugh it off. If it came out as a nervous laughter rather than a noncommittal one… well, that will be left for debate.

"Nothing really. It was a joke. Wow, a bit jumpy, aren't we?"

"Anyway, I was looking for you to tell you… have you seen…"

Oh please you have seen him too, haven't you? Some part of me was actually hoping it would all be some kind of big joke or hallucinations or something…

And while he was panicking he must have missed some part of the speech, because the next thing that came out of Alfred's mouth went along the lines of:

"...because I told him I wouldn't do anything until all our guests went home and we were alone, and he started kicking people out. And I mean literally. Some of my co-workers save sent me a message saying 'Sorry, I didn't know I was cockblocking you'"

By the context, the Brit was relieved to find he was talking about his boyfriend. But that raised a lot of questions, the biggest of them being…

"But you do remember I was supposed to sleep here, my new flat not being entirely ready and having to help you with the clean-up and all that…"

And, by the way Alfred blushed heavily, he feared the worst.

"Yeeeeeeeahh…. About thaaaaaaaaaat… I was planning to tell him that you are a really really heavy sleeper, and you wouldn't notice…"

"YOU WERE PLANNING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME IN THE HOUSE?"

"Maybe. Kind of. Sort of. Yes."

"You're the worst friend ever. When have I done that to you? When have I had sex with people when I knew you could hear it and be mentally scarred for life?"

"Okay, about that, I think the right question to ask would be 'when have I had sex?' period."

"Yeah, sure, joke around all you want, but I'm not helping you clean all this. And I am definitely not staying the night."

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. But, you now, he has just come home and…" After that, Alfred started giving some sloppy excuses, which Arthur paid no attention to because, actually, that was a pretty good excuse to run away from the clean-up. And if he also ran away from Francis in the process, well, all the better.

"I don't want to hear anything else. Too much information. Too much information. Besides, I don't want to start my new job with the looks of someone who has seen hell. 'So, tell us about your self, Arthur' 'I've seen things you people wouldn't believe'. No thanks. I'm going home." and he began looking for his coat.

Just as he was opening the door, he heard his friend shout from the other side of the room.

"Call me tomorrow! We can go celebrate if the job's any good, or have a complaining party if it isn't!"

He tried to answer, but the music was too loud for his voice to be heard, so he made the phone sign with his hands and nodded.

He really, really wished it was the former.

* * *

But, because karma was a bitch, it ended up being the latter.

Okay, don't get Arthur wrong, the job itself was pretty nice. The office was big,the tasks easy and the paycheck nice. Even his boss didn't seem like the arrogant type (much), although his thick German accent sometimes made it difficult to understand him.

No, no, no, all that was nearly perfect. And Arthur was actually beginning to feel confident about the whole deal, relaxing a bit when he was guided to his new workspace. He even allowed himself to think that it could even go well, after all.

But then it all went to hell.

"Did you just put my stuff in jello again?" someone shouted, followed by a shriek of laughter that sounded strangely closer to a 'kesesese' than a normal laughter should.

He turned around just in time to see a plate full of yellow jello with a stapler floating in the middle, and didn't even have time to ask when a voice behind his back sighed audibly, and just murmured:

"Forgive him. He's my...uhhh… Bruder, and co-founder. Whereas I work hard to keep this business growing, he, well… you can see. One of your new co-workers, Roderich, and him, are not… quite on the best terms. Apart from that, we're a really serious company, I assure you, and such behavior will not be tolerated."

He could have been content with that, office pranks he could handle. But then the real ruiner came, as the person on the desk next to his spoke:

"Oh come on, don't scare him off. You, the new one, what's your favorite jello flavor?" he asked, and Arthur swore he could recognize that voice anywhere.

"Francis?" he asked.

"Arthur?"

At that, the German interrupted them:

"Do you know each other?" He asked, to which both Francis and Arthur answered without missing a beat:

"Yes."

"No."

At Ludwig's stare, they looked at each other in the eye, and answered:

"No."

"Yes."

Another beat.

"Long story."

Their boss, to that, just shrugged and left, while saying:

"Francis, since you know each other, why don't you show him the rest of the office?"

After they both made sure he had left, Arthur hissed:

"Okay, this is just pissing me off now."

"Oh, it's pissing you off? Who's the stalker now?"

"I hate you."

"I hate you more."

They both briefly wondered if things could get worse. By now, one could hope they had learnt their lesson and stopped tempting fate. But, since they didn't, a roaring 'kesesese' echoed behind them, followed by a shout:

"Oh God, Francis, isn't that the guy you made the bet about?"

_To Be Continued..._

**A/N: So, yeah, I've been watching a bit too many episodes of The Office lately hahaha.**

**Anyway, as usual, review if you enjoyed it :)**


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